What to Do if I Am Thinking of Getting a Divorce? A Comprehensive Guide for New Orleans Residents

Deciding to end a marriage is perhaps the most significant legal and emotional crossroad a person will ever face. If you are currently sitting at your kitchen table in New Orleans, Metairie, or the Northshore asking yourself, “What to do if I am thinking of getting a divorce?” you are not alone. This moment of contemplation is the most critical time to gather information, protect your rights, and prepare for a transition that will affect your finances, your children, and your future.

In Louisiana, the legal system for ending a marriage is governed by a unique Civil Code that differs from every other state in the country. At the Weiser Law Firm, we specialize in helping residents navigate these complexities. This 3,000-word guide serves as a strategic roadmap to help you move from a state of uncertainty to one of informed action.

thinking of getting a divorce

1. Immediate Emotional and Physical Safety

Before addressing the legal mechanics of what to do if I am thinking of getting a divorce, we must address safety. If your marriage has been characterized by domestic abuse, threats, or harassment, the traditional “quiet preparation” phase may not apply to you.

The Power of the Protective Order

Louisiana law provides immediate relief for victims of domestic violence. If you fear for your safety, you can file for a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO). Under the Domestic Abuse Assistance Act, a judge can grant an emergency order that evicts the abuser from the family home and grants you temporary custody of your children, often within 24 hours of filing.

Local Resources in New Orleans

If you are in immediate danger, do not wait for a law firm. Contact the New Orleans Family Justice Center or the Louisiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Once you are in a safe environment, our legal team can help formalize these protections and begin the divorce process.

2. Navigating the Louisiana Civil Code: Article 102 vs. 103

One of the most confusing aspects for people wondering what to do if I am thinking of getting a divorce is the “waiting period.” Unlike states with “irreconcilable differences” that can be settled in weeks, Louisiana generally requires a period of living “separate and apart.”

The Article 102 Divorce: Filing First

An Article 102 divorce is best for individuals who need the court’s help immediately but haven’t lived apart yet.

The Process: You file the petition, and the “separation clock” starts on the day your spouse is served.
The Waiting Period: 180 days if there are no minor children; 365 days if there are minor children.
Why Choose This? It allows the court to issue “incidental orders” for things like child support, interim spousal support, and use of the family car while the clock is ticking.

The Article 103 Divorce: Filing After Separation

This is often called the “immediate” divorce, though it requires patience beforehand.

The Process: You live separate and apart for the required 180 or 365 days before you ever file the paperwork.
Why Choose This? Once you file, the divorce can be finalized in a matter of weeks because you’ve already done the time. It is often less expensive and involves fewer court dates.

3. Financial Preparation and Community Property

When considering what to do if I am thinking of getting a divorce, you must understand how your money will be divided. Louisiana is a Community Property state. This means that, generally, any asset or debt acquired during the marriage belongs equally to both spouses.

Gathering the “Paper Trail”

Before you announce the divorce, you should quietly compile a “Financial Bible.” This includes:

Tax Returns: The last three years of federal and state filings.
Bank Statements: 12 months of records for every account (checking, savings, and joint).
Retirement Accounts: Statements for 401(k)s, IRAs, and pensions. Remember, the portion earned during the marriage is community property.
Debt Records: Credit cards, mortgages, and student loans. Even if a credit card is only in your spouse’s name, if it was used for “family benefits,” you might be responsible for half.

Identifying “Separate Property”

Not everything is 50/50. Property you owned before the marriage, or things you inherited or were gifted specifically to you during the marriage, are often considered Separate Property. However, if you “commingled” these assets—like putting an inheritance into a joint bank account—the court might rule it has become community property.

4. Protecting Your Children: Custody and Support

For parents, the question of what to do if I am thinking of getting a divorce is secondary to “what happens to my kids?” New Orleans judges utilize the “Best Interest of the Child” standard.

Joint Custody is the Default

Louisiana law presumes that joint custody is the best arrangement. This does not always mean a 50/50 time split, but it does mean both parents have a say in major decisions regarding education, religion, and healthcare. One parent is usually designated the Domiciliary Parent, whose home is the child’s primary residence.

The Role of Child Support

Child support in Louisiana is calculated using the Income Shares Model. The court looks at the combined income of both parents and determines a “basic support obligation” based on a state-mandated table.

Extra Expenses: Be prepared to discuss who will pay for private school tuition (a major factor in New Orleans), health insurance, and extracurricular activities.

5. Spousal Support: Interim vs. Final

If there is a significant income gap between you and your spouse, you may be entitled to alimony, known in Louisiana as Spousal Support.

Interim Spousal Support: Designed to maintain the “standard of living” you had during the marriage while the divorce is pending. It usually ends 180 days after the divorce is final.
Final Periodic Support: This is harder to get. You must prove you are “in need” and—crucially—that you were free from fault in the breakup of the marriage. “Fault” in Louisiana includes adultery, felony conviction, or physical/sexual abuse.

6. Strategic Steps: The “Dos and Don’ts”

If you are still in the early stages of wondering what to do if I am thinking of getting a divorce, follow these rules:

DO NOT move out of the family home without consulting a lawyer first. Doing so could be considered “abandonment” and may affect your right to return or your custody status.
DO open your own bank account and have your paycheck deposited there moving forward.
DO NOT vent on social media. Your Facebook posts and Instagram stories are discoverable evidence in a New Orleans courtroom.
DO consult with an attorney to discuss the Lodestar Method for potential fee recovery if your spouse has significantly more financial power than you do. You can see how federal courts view fee-shifting in our detailed guide to attorney fees.

7. Why Local Expertise Matters

Divorce in New Orleans is different than in other parishes. From the unique “Hearing Officer” system in Orleans Parish Civil District Court to the specific local rules in Jefferson Parish, having a local attorney who knows the judges and the practitioners is invaluable.

When you ask “What to do if I am thinking of getting a divorce?” the most important answer is to seek counsel from someone who understands the local landscape. For more information on navigating the unique legalities of our state, visit the Louisiana State Bar Association for public resources.

8. The “Battle of the Lists”: Sworn Detailed Descriptive Lists

One of the most labor-intensive but critical answers to what to do if I am thinking of getting a divorce involves the “partition” of your assets. In Louisiana, this is governed by La. R.S. 9:2801.

The 45-Day Deadline

Once a partition is filed, each spouse must file a Sworn Detailed Descriptive List within 45 days. This isn’t just a list of “what we own”; it is a legal document that must include:

A description of every community asset (the house, the 401k, the Mardi Gras beads).
The fair market value of those assets.
The location of the assets.
All community liabilities (mortgages, credit card debt, medical bills).

Traversing the List

Once the lists are filed, you have 60 days to “traverse” (object to) your spouse’s list. If your spouse “forgot” to list a secret bank account or undervalued the family business in Metairie, this is your legal opportunity to point that out. The court then holds a trial of traverses to determine exactly what is community property and what is not.

9. Reimbursement Claims: When Separate and Community Money Mix

A common question we hear is: “I used my inheritance to pay off our mortgage; do I get that back?” This is known as a Reimbursement Claim. Because Louisiana is a community property state, the law tries to ensure that neither the “community” nor the “separate” estate is unjustly enriched at the expense of the other.

Community for Separate: If community money was used to pay the mortgage on a house you owned before the marriage, the community is entitled to reimbursement for half of that amount.
Separate for Community: If you used separate funds (like an inheritance) to benefit the community, you are generally entitled to a reimbursement of half of the value of those funds at the time they were used.

Calculating these claims requires a “forensic” look at your banking history. If you are asking what to do if I am thinking of getting a divorce, start looking for the closing statements and bank transfers from years ago now—tracing these funds is much harder once the litigation heats up.

10. The Adultery Factor: How Fault Affects Your Future

While Louisiana is a “no-fault” state for the purpose of getting a divorce, fault still plays a massive role in Spousal Support.

Adultery and Final Support

Under Louisiana Civil Code Article 112, a spouse can only receive “Final Periodic Support” if they are free from fault in the breakup of the marriage.

If you can prove your spouse committed adultery (which requires “clear and convincing evidence”—more than just a suspicious text), they may be barred from ever receiving final spousal support, even if they have zero income.
Interim Support is Different: Importantly, adultery does not stop someone from getting Interim Spousal Support. The law views interim support as a way to maintain the status quo during the litigation, regardless of who cheated.

11. The “75-Mile Rule”: Relocating After Divorce

In a city like New Orleans, where people often move for work or family, the Louisiana Relocation Statute (La. R.S. 9:355.1) is a major hurdle.

If you have children and you want to move, you cannot just pack up and go if the move is:

Out of the state of Louisiana.
More than 75 miles away from the other parent’s primary residence.

The Notice Requirement

You must send a formal notice via registered or certified mail at least 60 days before the move. The other parent then has 30 days to object. If they object, you cannot move the child until a judge holds a hearing and determines the move is in the “Best Interest of the Child.” If you move without following this process, the court can order you to return the child immediately and pay for your spouse’s attorney fees.

12. What to Expect at the Orleans Parish Civil District Court (CDC)

If you live in New Orleans, your case will likely be heard at the Civil District Court at 421 Loyola Ave. Understanding the “vibe” of this specific court is essential when planning what to do if I am thinking of getting a divorce.

The Hearing Officer System

Unlike some smaller parishes where you go straight to a judge, Jefferson and St. Tammany Parishes use Hearing Officers. These are attorneys appointed by the court to hear “incidental matters” (child support, interim spousal support, use of the home).

The Hearing Officer makes a recommendation.
If you don’t like the recommendation, you have a very short window (usually 3-5 days) to file an objection.
If you object, you then get a “De Novo” hearing in front of the actual District Judge.

Preparing for Your Day in Court

Courtesy Copies: New Orleans judges are “old school.” You must often provide “tangible courtesy copies” of your motions to the judge’s chambers at least 8 days before the hearing.
Business Casual to Professional: The CDC is a formal environment. How you dress and carry yourself matters to the staff and the judge.
Evidence Binders: If you have 200 text messages you want to show the judge, they must be organized, labeled, and placed in binders for the judge, the witness, and the opposing counsel.

13. Avoiding the “Divorce Tax”: Mediation and Consent Judgments

Divorce doesn’t always have to be a battle. In fact, most New Orleans judges prefer if you settle your issues in Mediation when you are thinking about getting a divorce.

The Consent Judgment

A Consent Judgment is a contract between you and your spouse that the judge signs into a court order. It covers everything from who gets the Saints tickets to the exact pick-up time at the school gate. By choosing a Consent Judgment, you save thousands in legal fees and, more importantly, you maintain control over the outcome rather than leaving it to a judge who only knows you through a 30-minute hearing.

14. Conclusion: Your Next Steps

If you have read this far, you are no longer just “thinking” about a divorce—you are educating yourself on how to survive one. The answer to what to do if I am thinking of getting a divorce is simple but not easy: Prepare, Organize, and Protect.

Whether you are dealing with a complex business partition in the CBD or a sensitive custody matter in Uptown, the Weiser Law Firm is here to provide the local expertise you need. We understand the nuances of the Louisiana Civil Code and the specific “unwritten rules” of our local courts.

Would you like me to help you draft a “Financial Discovery Request” to send to your spouse’s attorney to uncover hidden assets before your first hearing?

Deciding on a divorce is never easy, but being prepared makes the process manageable. By understanding the difference between Article 102 and 103, organizing your community property records, and prioritizing your children’s best interests, you are already ahead of the curve.

At the Weiser Law Firm, we are here to help you through every step. If you are ready to stop wondering what to do if I am thinking of getting a divorce and start taking action, contact us or text us today at 504-358-2273 for a confidential consultation. Our uncontested divorces get done for $1200.00 and consent judgments on the other matters can be doen for a flat fee.

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What to Do if I Am Thinking of Getting a Divorce